Thursday, January 19, 2006

No severance payment

Anna Ayala has been sentenced to nine years’ jail after fraudulently suing the Wendy’s fast food chain, claiming she had found a severed finger in her chili. Wendy’s sales fell sharply following the alleged discovery, costing the company approximately $2.5 million.

Ayala, 39, of Las Vegas, had put the finger in her chili before attempting to sue the restaurant owner.

Her husband Jaime Plascencia had got the finger (no pun intended) from a co-worker who had lost it in an industrial accident. Apparently the guy owed him $50, and gave him the finger instead.*

Right.

So how would that conversation go?

“Hey Bob, sorry to hear about the finger.”

“Yeah, it really hurt.”

“Oh. … So how about that 50 bucks you owe me?”

“I’m a bit short this week. You want the finger? Micro surgeons can’t do a thing for me.”

“Sure.”

So anyway I’ve got this arm in my freezer that a mate didn’t want after his accident. (Don’t ask. Talk about issues.)

I was going to take it to McDonald’s and see if I could get a few free burgers out of them, or maybe some shakes, but now I’m not so sure.

*OK that was intended. But once you start it’s hard to resist.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

The Da Vinci Dud

I’ve just finished reading Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code and I’m convinced that the ony reason it’s been so successful is because God wants it to be. Dan should get down on his knees and thank the Lord for every million he makes.

The book’s a bit of a dud really. A second-rate thriller based on a third-hand plot, dodgey history and pseudo-spiritual mumbo-jumbo. I’ll admit it’s a decent enough page turner, but I was getting pretty tired of it by Chapter 90 and the ending was a real fizzer. Philosophically and historically it’s all over the shop.

At the end, I didn’t care about Leonardo, the Holy Grail, the sacred feminine (<span lang="yiddish">Enough with the sacred feminine already!</span>), or anything else, I just wanted to finish it so I could tick that box, give my friend his book back, and slag Dan Brown off on my blog.

Note to Dan:

Can’t write. Can’t research. Give me the money.

But apparently people can’t get enough of this code stuff (or at least Tom Hanks will be hoping they can’t get enough of it).

So it can only be the power of God that’s kept at the top of the bestseller lists. It wouldn’t be beyond God to use a best seller to get people asking questions about Jesus.

And asking questions about Jesus is a good thing, just don’t bother asking Dan. Can’t research. Can’t write.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Feeling bad about abortion

A new study of New Zealand women has concluded that abortion in young women may be associated with increased risks of mental health problems. This included depression and anxiety disorders and they were also more likely to abuse alcohol and drugs.

The study’s leader, Professor David Fergusson, is at pains to show that he’s not a pro-lifer and he’s just telling it like it is. Fair enough. But with over 80,000 abortions being done each year in Australia, there’s a lot of people who will be suffering, assuming you can extrapolate the study to Australia.

As the study shows, not all women feel bad about abortion or suffer consequences for it. And Emily Maguire in The Sydney Morning Herald offers suggestions about how women could feel better about their abortion experience.

I say it doesn’t really matter. What really matters is what God thinks. It’s clear from the Bible that God is against abortion, for plenty of reasons. I’m with God on this point. As the father of three children—one of whom is still in-utero—we’ve always thought of our babies as our babies from the moment my wife was pregnant. “We’re going to have a baby” is a common enough expression (at least on the TV shows I’ve watched) to indicate that we’re not alone in thinking this.

I think attempts to argue that unborn babies are not human are similar strategies to those used to dehumanise groups which require killing—as the Nazis did to the Jews. For pro-choice people babies need to be non-human so that they can be disposed of.

Abortion is killing a person, plain and simple. If you can justify that, say on medical grounds, fine. Otherwise there’s no difference between that and taking your three-year-old up the back paddock and putting a bullet in her head.